“Breaking News: Cosmos Founder Suggests Chain Split, ATOM Takes a Mild 3% Tumble – Shocking, Right?”
Cosmos' founder Jae Kwon urged followers to split the chain following a community decision to reduce ATOM's inflation to 10% from 14%.
Cosmos' founder Jae Kwon urged followers to split the chain following a community decision to reduce ATOM's inflation to 10% from 14%.
"At least the border crossers brought some holiday spirit with them to Illinois, even if it was stolen Christmas items from Hobby Lobby."
"President Biden is like your mom trying to convince you that vegetables are delicious. He's listing off all these ways he's helping the economy, while the Republicans are just sitting there with their tax cuts for the rich and a plate full of broccoli."
Pro-Bitcoin President-Elect Javier Milei has announced plans to dissolve Argentina’s Central Bank to combat the country’s economic crisis and inflationary pressures.
"Looks like the Roomba got a nice little bump today. I guess it's finally getting the recognition it deserves for all those years of hard work sucking up crumbs and pet hair."
In a shocking twist, Anjalee Herath, the winner of Derana Dream Star Season 11, accidentally tripped while celebrating her victory and ended up doing a spontaneous breakdance routine on stage. Judges were so impressed they gave her an extra crown for style!
"Trying to convince investors to consider bonds is like trying to convince a cat that water is fun. It's a tough sell, but hey, at least the cat has FDIC insurance."
"The U.K.'s climate team is like the Three Stooges of global warming. One's a king bound by government script, one's a prime minister maxing out fossil fuels, and the other thinks 'green crap' is...well, crap. It's like a bad sitcom."
"We believe that Mr. Zhao should be allowed to return to the UAE, where he is a citizen and resides, ahead of his sentencing in February. We are pushing back against the U.S. Department of Justice filing asking for him not to leave the country." - Changpeng Zhao's lawyers
Asking a question effectively means knowing when to stop talking and start listening. It's like trying to have a conversation with your mom - you can't just keep asking for money, eventually you have to hear her out.
Stephen Miller's latest attempt at persecution: accusing Macy's of discriminating against straight white men. Can we all take a moment to appreciate the absurdity of a parade boycott over this? Straight white men, your privilege is showing and it's not a good look. #MacyDiscrimination
I never thought I'd be the kind of person to get excited about baking mats, but here we are. I've become a full-fledged adult raving about silicone mats and discussing dishwasher cleaning tips with my bestie. Who have I become?
GoDaddy stock surprises everyone with a 35% jump, drawing Wall Street's attention. Analysts praise margin expansion and drop in expenses, but RSI hits record high at 86. Investors on the sidelines may have missed the initial run, so be ready to pounce for the next stage.
Token Terminal predicts Ethereum (ETH) could soar above $36,800 by 2030 based on total addressable market projects. The analytics platform cites network effects and PoS transition as possible price drivers. However, challenges like regulation and network design tradeoffs may slow adoption.
"My mom says you're the most handsome surprise of 2023," Sophia wrote. "But don't let it go to your head, my ex was also a 'surprise' in his own way."
Oh, so you were in search of those countless news websites that churn out content like a vending machine set permanently on “Maximum Mundane.” Well, here at our humble abode, we’ve decided to take a bit of a unique approach. All your breaking news and mind-bogglingly informative, uh, “information” is still here. Well, most of it, anyway. You see, we recently had a colossal malfunction of epic proportions – a mischievous monkey found its way into our server room and decided to lock itself in. Now, it seems this monkey spends its days perched at the terminal, eagerly waiting for our latest articles to drop.
Much to our surprise, the monkey has an oddly peculiar sense of humor, and it has wholeheartedly embraced the role of article editor, infusing our content with a slightly twisted, yet surprisingly more digestible tone. But rest assured, the crucial bits are still intact. So, while we’re working diligently to figure out how to coax the monkey out of our server room, you can indulge in the news from a primate’s perspective. We promise to keep you updated on our progress in resolving this entire “monkey business.”
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