DEAR ABBY: Help! My Husband Won’t Leave!
So, here’s the deal. Eighteen years ago, I made a big mistake. I married this guy so he could get health insurance and have back surgery. It was supposed to be a temporary arrangement, you know, no strings attached. But guess what? He fell head over heels in love with me and refused to leave.
Now, let me tell you something about this man. He has put me through hell over the years. First, he got hit with stage 4 tongue cancer (yes, that’s a thing). And hey, I’m not heartless—I didn’t mind being the breadwinner while he recovered from his illness.
But then things took a turn for the worse. This guy started drinking like there was no tomorrow and ended up getting himself a DUI (that stands for “Driving Under Influence,” in case you were wondering). And guess who had to foot the bill? Yep, yours truly—almost $10k down the drain because of his reckless behavior.
If that wasn’t bad enough already—and trust me it was—he also happens to be one messy SLOB who couldn’t care less about cleanliness or orderliness or even basic hygiene for that matter! Oh yeah, did I mention his severe sleep disorder? The guy refuses to address it and ends up staying awake all night, drinking like a fish, and sleeping until the afternoon. I mean, seriously? Who does that?
So guess what I did? I finally decided to move out and get away from this train wreck of a man. And what does he do? He starts pestering me about when I’m coming back! Can you believe the nerve of this guy?
Abby, please help me! What on earth can I do to get rid of him once and for all? Because let me tell you, going back is not an option. This woman has had enough!
DEAR TURNED THE PAGE IN ARIZONA: Leave Him in the Dust!
Honey, listen up—whatever you do, DO NOT go back to that disaster zone! Seriously, girl, you have done your fair share of heavy lifting in this relationshipSponsored Product. It’s high time you start focusing on yourself and your own happiness.
You deserve so much better than this mess of a man who refuses to take responsibility for his actions or address his issues. So here’s what you need to do: consult an attorney ASAP and figure out how to extricate yourself from this dysfunctional relationshipSponsored Product once and for all.
DEAR ABBY: The Men Are Finally Noticing Me!
Ladies and gentlemen (but mostly ladies), we have some breaking news here! Our dear friend “Still Not Interested” has recently become quite the hot commodity among men—yes, men are actually noticing her now!
In case you missed it earlier (shame on you), our girl here lost 50 pounds by focusing on her health through dietSponsored Product and exercise. And let me tell ya—this transformation has caught the attention of some potential suitors.
But here’s the catch—our girl is not interested in dating. Nope, not one bit. She just wants to focus on herself and her newfound confidence. And hey, we totally get it!
But she’s worried about how to politely turn down these men without hurting their fragile egos (because let’s face it, male egos can be quite delicate). So, dear Abby, what words of wisdom do you have for our girl?
DEAR STILL NOT INTERESTED IN IOWA: “Thank You, But I’m Off the Market!”
Sweetie, first things first—kudos to you for focusing on yourself and your well-being! That takes guts and determination.
Now onto the matter at hand. Polite ways to turn down a man who shows interest in you? How about this gem: “Thank you so much for the compliment! But I’m sorry to say that I’m off the market.” Short, sweet, and straight to the point.
DEAR ABBY: My Daughter Has Terrible Taste in Men!
Ladies and gentlemen (but mostly ladies—again), we have another case of questionable taste in partners here! Our dear friend “Trying To Change” has a daughter who seems to be attracted exclusively to wimpy men with weak handshakes.
I mean seriously—who wants a guy with no backbone? Not us!
This poor mom is struggling with how critical she feels towards her daughter’s choices and doesn’t know how to respond when asked for her opinion on these loser boyfriends.
DEAR TRYING TO CHANGE: Bite Your Tongue… Hard!
Momma bear (or should we say Momma hen?), here’s what you need to do: keep your opinions to yourself! Yep, that’s right. Your daughter doesn’t need your approval or endorsement when it comes to her love life.
If any of these “dead-fish handshake individuals” make her happy, then you should be happy for her too. It’s as simple as that.
And hey, if things don’t work out with these guys (which they probably won’t), at least you can say “I told you so” without any guilt!
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.