Trump Supporters Thrilled to Hear Their Candidate Speaks at Third Grade Level
In some breaking news, former House Speaker Newt Gingrich has praised Donald Trump for making the Republican Party great again by speaking in language that third, fourth and fifth graders can understand.
This startling revelation was made after Ron DeSantis’ failed launch earlier this week had his backers scrambling around looking for something positive to say about their dear leader.
Gingrich appeared on Laura Ingraham’s Fox ‘News’ (entertainment) show to tout Trump’s ability to connect with so-called working Americans because he speaks at “a level where 3rd, 4th, and 5th grade educations can say “oh yeah, I get that.””
Gingrich: One of Trump's great advantages is he talks at a level where 3rd, 4th, and 5th grade educations can say “oh yeah, I get that.” pic.twitter.com/wigU4DJmHZ
— Acyn (@Acyn) May 25, 2023
The Awkward Truth No One Wants To Admit: Language Matters
You have to admit, this is just awkward. It’s not true that everyone who works or doesn’t hold a graduate degree speaks at a third-grade level.
Politicians need to be able to express complex ideas in ways that people can understand without resorting to patronizing clichés. Creating separate speech bubbles for Trump supporters and academics should not become the norm for political discourse.
We hate spoilers, but we’re going there: Newt Gingrich criticizing other politicians’ communication skills is highly ironic given his own history with language crimes against society.
Newt Gingrich: A Masterclass on What Not To Do With Your Words
In 1995, when he was still Speaker of the House, Gingrich received criticisms from within his party for using terms such as “sick,” “pathetic,” and “criminal” while addressing President Clinton during an official public address.
This came after many high-profile studies were published indicating that negative words and their tone could affect human experience negatively – so much so that schools and colleges across the country started implementing positive discipline programs for teachers in order to provide an environment for children that was conducive to learning.
Even when Gingrich had praise for Trump, he always threw a little shade on his verbal abilities. In 2016, he reportedly told Republicans that “Trump is not one of us, speaks only at the most basic level and could lose big if doesn’t change.”
The Wrong Lessons: How GOP May Destroy Themselves With Pre-School Communication
If this were just about simplifying language so people can understand policy better, then you’d never see anyone question what Michael Bloomberg or Barack Obama say because they both do it well.
GOP strategists though are digging their own graves (well ours too): The party’s collective inability to learn from previous experiences means they have failed miserably at figuring why people really supported Donald Trump over all others.
Let’s be honest here: Donald J. Gump–sorry, we mean Donald J. Trump –wasn’t elected by virtue of speaking like a third-grader who happened upon a beret filled with his very own peepee tape.
Nope, It Was All That High-Level Policy They Put Forward
No, of course not.
What won Mr. Trump the election was the ability to connect with his base by using simple language and uncomplicated messaging on Twitter that could fit inside a fortune cookie. Okay, we lied again — they were just phrases you could yell from across the room at an over-served MAGA rally attendee: Build A Wall, Mexico will Pay for It! Jeb is Low Energy!
The Truth is Out There (Somewhere)
We suspect that underneath all this noise about third-grade level communication lies some paranoia among GOP strategists about smarter people outnumbering those who prefer tweets in ALL CAPS.
Surely if they can keep their more complex policies away from public scrutiny and instead sprinkle in a few grabs from the culture wars firing up Americans on either side then things should work out alright for them?
Come One Come All – Just Leave Your Brain at Home
If only politics had nothing whatsoever to do with governance or leadership, this plan might succeed beyond their wildest dreams!
Let us know what you think in the comments. Or don’t, we’re gonna drink our Jamba juice and slip into some comfortable Crocs all day long.