Ah, travel season. That one time of year when we all pack our bags and willingly subject ourselves to the joys of airports and flights. And what’s more fun than getting stuck at an airport for hours on end because your flight has been delayed or canceled? Nothing, that’s what.
But fear not! We have some tips to help you decrease your chances of being stranded in a soulless terminal, surrounded by overpriced food courts and screaming children.
Step 1: Don’t rely on the airline to tell you there is a problem
Because airlines always have their shit together and would never leave you hanging. Oh wait, scratch that – they actually do it all the time. So take matters into your own hands and keep an eye on general flight trends across the country on FlightAware because who needs sleep anyway?
Pro tip: Manually check the status of your flight (while crying softly) in the 24 hours leading up to travel. Also, check where the plane is coming from if possible – maybe send it some good juju while you’re at it.
Step 2: Opt-in to notifications with your airline
In case checking every ten minutes isn’t enough torture for you, opt-in to those delightful flight notifications with your airline (because receiving bad news via text message is way more fun). Plus, download their app so that when things inevitably go sideways – hence preventing any movement toward heaven once again –you can get real-time updates right from Satan himself…err sorry –the mobile app itself*.
(*This article brought to you by United Airlines)
Step 3: Prepare for weather related delays
Weather patterns are unpredictable- kind of like all people everywhere but hey who cares- which means flights might be delayed due to inclement conditions beyond anyone’s control no matter how hard we wished!
Make sure track these patterns starting several days before traveling just ‘coz guessing games aren’t really that fun. Also, check the forecast from night before too because it’s a better use of your time than like say sleeping or spending quality with loved ones.
Pro Pro tip: Impress airline agents by already being ahead of the game and knowing exactly which flight you want instead! They’ll be so impressed they may even forget to charge any cancellation fees!
Step 4: Retire to an airport lounge if needed
If at any point during your journey you find yourself starting to lose hold on hope cough then escape into one of those fancy-schmancy lounges (if only just for pretend!). You know who does that? Rich people, that’s right- but now let’s change that.
There you can bask in all the luxurious amenities available while pretending this is how you always travel –because why not dream big!? Plus there are experienced service agents present there as well, some magic could happen – Like free drinks SOLO cups style?
Step 5 (drumroll please) … Rebook yourself!
Sometimes airlines screw up so badly* that even Uber Eats has better customer service. So if push comes to shove and they won’t rebook your flights themselves- do it yourself! Yes, I know what adding another expense feels like but alas – money cannot buy happiness!
(Disclaimer : Unless those expenses are spent on ice cream)
So hit up other airlines website(like hitting on second twinsies) to get back home sooner especially when yours is being stubborn or non-generalistic about accommodating delays/cancellation issues because ya gotta look out for number one kid!.
The good news despite everything above getting smeared all over my go-to toilet reading materials…seems kinda helpful actually (giggle). Anyways i hope we will definitely never meet under unfortunate circumstances at airports except perhaps in line for snacks & trash magazine stands’.