Look out fellow citizens of the internet! Stephen Colbert has been administering reality check prescriptions and guess who’s on the receiving end this time. Yep! You’ve guessed it – Donald J (from The Apprentice) Trump. Our ex-commander-in-chief recently made a claim that he’d be adding some blue colour swatches to his collection in the upcoming 2024 election, but bless his heart, we know better.
In a recent game of “wake up or dream on”, esteemed host Maria Bartiromo asked Trump if he was going to use his magical vote-flipping powers on typically Democratic strongholds like New York and New Jersey. On hearing rumors about him planning a rally in South Bronx, she further questioned, “Are you planning any skilled acrobatic flips?”
A confident Trump answered her with two words echoing through eternity: “Yeah… I think so”.
Naturally Colbert couldn’t help himself responding, ”Oh honey bun! C’mon now!. Let’s be real for just one moment here people; If there is going to be any flipping happening involving folks from NY & NJ, let’s just say it probably won’t involve states.”
(Here comes more satire)
The next trick up our dear ‘ex-leader-of-the-free-world-now-magician’ sleeve? Well that would be racking up hypothetical victories only available in an alternate universe where elections have their college and public votes significantly affected by unicorns.
In said universe, citizens might start believing that elections are stolen whenever their favorite contestant doesn’t win. “Close your eyes real tight” they would say, “maybe you can even forget how the ex-president wouldn’t be able to flip Pennsylvania or Wisconsin”.
(Satire level intensifies)
Maria’s question may have been absurd but believe it or not, her query was only equalled in ‘what-on-earth-ness’ level of silliness by Trump’s reply.
As most folks know (and what seemingly escapes our celebrated ex-POTUS) is that he is about as beloved in blue states as a cockroach at a picnic. There ain’t no way any of these democratically dominated states will change hue after decades of dedication to the donkey.
(Brace yourself for more irreverent observations)
If we were talking about fantasy realms though? Then sure! In ‘Trumperland’, there does exist the belief that Mr.T could play kingmaker once again; turning deep royal blues into radiant reds come election year 2024 – color palette be damned!
A note from the jester elites at PoliticusUSA
The man behind the keyboard
Meet Jason, our managing editor extraordinaire with an apparent lack of humor. He’s also a White House Press Pool reporter and a Congressional correspondent for PoliticusUSA because apparently those jobs don’t come with enough stressors. Jason has earned himself a Bachelor’s Degree in Political Science, although we’re still wondering where he hides it.
In case you didn’t know already this dude’s brains are like… massive! In fact most of his mental strength has been dedicated towards public policy, specializing in social reform movements which need some serious brain power to understand ##Respect#️⃣.
Jazz hands everybody!
We’d just like to remind you that despite writing about politics all day, every day – somehow- Jason remains part of both The Society Of Professional Journalists AND The American Political Science Association. Here’s hoping they’ll never see this article #fingerscrossed🤞
Stephen Colbert Tells Trump That He Will Never Flip Blue States