BREAKING NEWS: The world’s most daring and cunning criminals have been apprehended by the police! Their nefarious scheme involved shooting a chairman of an insurance corporation for money. That’s right, they thought it would be easier to just shoot someone instead of robbing a bank like normal robbers.
The mastermind behind this bullet-riddled plan was none other than the chairman of the Cooperative Insurance Corporation branch in Matara, who apparently wasn’t making enough money from his day job selling insurance policies. He roped in three accomplices – a bus owner, a bus conductor and even a former army soldier because when you’re trying to pull off an elaborate crime, why not get as many people involved as possible?
The victim of their devious plot was Darshana Samarawickrama, aged 62. He had recently been nominated as Chairman to battle it out at Co-operative Insurance Corporation’s Battaramulla branch come June 02,2023.…if he lived that long!
This fiendish quartet didn’t care about anything except for cold hard cash!
In true Hollywood style,the shooters came screeching towards their target on a motorbike while poor Mr.Samarawickrama innocently minding his own business entering Gemunu Mawatha (we don’t know how to pronounce it either). Without warning they fired four shots straight at him!!
“Pow,Pow,Pow,Pew”,’ were probably words uttered only by men with shades and extreme overconfidence before attempting something shady like fleecing other people’s hard earned moolah.”
But wait there’s more!!
The whole sordid affair started to unravel when police released CCTV footage of the fearless foursome fleeing after their crime. They were driving away on the motorbike like they had just won a race at Isle of Man!
“Honey, I am not saying it was role modelling in any way but did you see how skillfully he weaved through traffic? Maybe with some proper training and guidance, our Kevin might have what it takes to be something someday.”
It’s really no surprise then that they took notice fast or else we would all be next!
Preliminary reports suggest that Meegoda Police acted fast and swiftly nabbed these scoundrels before Mr. Samarawickrama met his maker for real!
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