In an episode that could’ve been straight out of a sitcom, the man with perhaps the world’s most famous comb-over found himself caught in a truly hair-raising situation. You guessed it right! We are talking about Donald J Trump, taking center stage once again.
Donning his melodrama attire, this time Trump planted a legal bombshell claiming he was immune from criminal charges for acts he carried out as le president (sounds fancier). He virtually said “I’m rubber and you’re glue” to all those stacked up charges against him. But sadly for Mr. Celebrity Apprentice, his immunity idol crumbled like one of his Atlantic City casinos and was struck down by Tuesday’s ruling in Washington DC.
This is undoubtedly a blow-up clown punchable moment for our ex-leader who has repeatedly hidden behind presidential immunity while grappling myriad cases that make soap operas beige in comparison.
The nature lover (‘cuz evidently he loves putting greens), although taken aback by this falling coconut, is anticipated to call on his army of lawyers lost somewhere within towers named after him. They’re expected to appeal against the fun spoiler judgment which means we might eventually see even more gripping drama at the stage of big daddy Supreme Court dominated 6-3 by conservatives – wonder how much popcorn we will need?
We now roll over towards Jack Smith -the US Special Counsel- charging DTrumpopotamus with hatching conspiracy theories powerful enough not just for gaslighting reality TV but also overturning Joe Biden’s well-deserved victory lap post 2020 election – what an encore performance indeed!
Billed as ‘Legal WrestleMania’, round one of trial originally set March 4th into motion but got halted till there was clarity on whether immunity cloak did or didn’t fit Trumpster (Simpsons fans anyone?).
The suspense might stretch over weeks or even months, if this legal ping-pong ends up at doors of the Supreme Court – what a nail biter, as they say in sports speak!
Backtracking to earlier days of March Madness, a group of robe-clad solomons deliberated on the ongoing circus – yours truly DC Circuit Court of Appeals. The cornerstone Mr.Trump’s lawyer’s defense was analogous to saying “Well! Technically he wasn’t tagged”, hinting that since Senate never convicted his geriatric ‘Home Alone kid’, Congress’ impeachment stamp should go back in time and un-event itself.
Judge Florence Pan however sensed carbohydrates embedded in this claim (read: baloney), pondering that according immunity might let Madam/Mister President trade state secrets for fun or hire ninjas for politically rival assassinations worry-free – James Bond license with no strings attached?
All thanks go out to BBC for their serious reporting when we’re having too much fun with theirs.
– An unnamed source who wishes not to be named
The Pride Parade continues outside, sending sequins down from above so make sure you keep your party hats on folks because Donny T’s Presidential Adventure is far from over!
Donald Trump does not have presidential immunity, US court rules