In a recent appearance on Fox News Sunday, Jared Bernstein, the Chair of the Council of Economic Advisors, took the opportunity to highlight all the ways that the Biden administration is helping struggling Americans. But before we dive into his comments, can we just take a moment to appreciate how awesome it is that they played a video of a woman claiming she was economically struggling? Because nothing says hard-hitting journalism like hearing from random individuals on television.
Anyway, back to Bernstein and his big reveal. He proudly announced that President Biden doesn’t want us comparing him to some almighty figure; instead, he wants us comparing him to the alternative. So basically, don’t compare him to Jesus or Superman – compare him to Republicans. According to Bernstein’s “five minutes” spiel (which felt more like an eternity), Team Biden is doing everything possible to help people in need.
From raising real wages (because fake wages are so last year) and keeping the job market tight (maybe they should try using duct tape?) to bringing down inflation (is there an app for that?), they claim they have it all covered. Oh, and let’s not forget about lowering gas and grocery prices because no one likes paying an arm and a leg for their essential needs unless you’re an amputee looking for donations.
But according to Bernstein, what do we hear from those pesky Republicans? Tax cuts for rich people! Clearly, those evil geniuses in the GOP are plotting giveaways for big Pharma while simultaneously aiding wealthy tax cheats in evading hundreds of billions in taxes – because who needs money when you’re already disgustingly affluent?
But fear not; while those dastardly Republicans are busy swimming in their piles of ill-gotten wealth like Scrooge McDuck after hours at Fort Knox if he were also laundering money… Sorry, got carried away there. The point is that unlike them greedy GOP folks playing Monopoly with bundles of cash, the Biden administration is fighting for people like that woman in the video. They’re going to keep doing it until they reach her because apparently navigating through her living room with a bunch of government policies is what she needs most.
Now, let’s take a moment to watch said video and witness this poor woman’s economic struggles. Oh wait, we can’t do that because this is an article and there are no videos here – only words. So just imagine her desperate pleas for help while reading this piece; it’ll make the experience more authentic.
Moving on, Bernstein graced us with even more wisdom by emphasizing the big question: What will Republicans do about these issues? And brace yourselves – their answer is nothing! Absolutely nothing! Zilch! Nada!
According to Bernstein (I’m starting to think he should change his name to Captain Obvious), Republicans’ grand strategy involves cutting taxes for those fancy schmancy rich folks (because who needs money trickle-down when you can have a good old-fashioned waterfall?) and making healthcare so expensive that your bank account starts sobbing its monthly payments. Oh, and let’s not forget about snatching health insurance away from 40 million people just for kicks.
But here’s where things get interesting (well, as interesting as politics can be). While Trump was busy yelling at his TV screen or adding another self-glorifying inscription on one of his golden toilets after successfully flushing away democracy – sorry again if I got carried away – nobody in his party seems to know how to handle inflation either. It’s like watching a group of toddlers trying to build Ikea furniture without any instructions or tools – just mayhem all around.
And let me tell you something my dear readers: The economy isn’t suffering from job scarcity or low wages; it’s struggling with inflation woes that would put Willy Wonka out of business quicker than you could say “Oompa Loompa.” So while Republicans may have the power to create chaos, they’ve clearly missed Economics 101 because their plan of reducing government spending won’t magically make inflation disappear like a Hogwarts spell. In fact, cutting taxes for the rich will only fan into flames that fiery beast of rising prices.
So here we are – Republicans with no plan and no interest whatsoever in tackling these crucial issues. They’re probably too busy golfing or watching reruns of The Apprentice (because who doesn’t miss those days when our politics were primarily decided by reality TV show hosts?). But if inflation keeps falling on its own accord, all the angst Trump and his cronies are counting on for a potential comeback in 2024 will vanish into thin air like toilet paper during a pandemic.
As it stands now, Biden is sitting pretty comfortably because let’s face it: The alternative put forward by Republicans is Donald J. Trump himself! I’ll just leave you with that delightful thought to ponder as I see myself out…