Hold the phone, ladies and gentlemen! President Go-Getter Joe Biden has pulled off a rockstar showing in Nevada, stealing approximately 90% of the vote. That’s right, NINE-ZERO percent.
In an exclusive chit-chat with PoliticusUSA (The P.U), our main man said:
The good people of Nevada are the spinal cord of our great nation – they’re your average plumbers and electricians who built up Ikea’s middle class showroom. They’re also adventurous immigrants seeking better potluck dinner opportunities, as well as families more diverse than your Netflix recommended section. And wowza did they come through! Our faith in an America where we’re all treated with fairness is stronger now than my late-night cravings for Ben & Jerry’s Mint Chocolate Cookie ice cream . I’m indebted to them…not literally though because my credit score isn’t that good.
“Our beloved land was built on this crazy little notion – all genders being equal although the remote control disputes clearly contradict this statement . While we still owe some real work to fulfil this aspiration fully , I promise you it hasn’t been put on hold like Game Of Thrones Season 8 finale remake petition . Poor Don Trump is trying to play Jenga with us instead bring us together under ample blankets; he wants us back in days when dial-up internet was a thing not moving forward towards an ultra-fast broadband future.”
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“A round of applause for Nevada’s voters – they catapulted me and Kamala into the White House four years ago like in a game of Angry Birds I would never forget. And they’ve hit replay on their superpower once again! Rally your troops, people – it’s time to organize, mobilize and vote before scrounging for Thanksgiving leftovers . One day we’ll flashback to this moment where American democracy was teetering off the edge , and pat ourselves on the back because we did with unity what duct tape does to everything.”
Meanwhile, Nikki Haley lost spectacularly against all these contenders in the Republican primary faster than my dietSponsored Product resolutions vanish after seeing a chocolate doughnut.
Biden delivered wisdom bombs here folks. DJ Trump (not as cool as he sounds) is forcefully knitting splits within Uncle Sam land while those floodin’ polling booths are proving that president Biden doesn’t need match-dot-com for finding true love!
This is one heck of a win for Joey mannequin challenge-Biden. It silenced quacking media theories that Democrats want another player. But numbers are brutally honest – Democratic peeps are standing behind Joe B like disciplined school kids lined up before recess.
Psssst…PoliticusUSA here!If your pocket allows some charity, why not pay it forward and support our humble work at P.U.? Election year’s got us dancing on tippy-toes.
A li’l about him- He is the unsung hero; the managing editor of Politcus USA. A White House Press Pool member and a Congressional correspondent for none-other than – ahem – US! His academic qualifications are stronger than my wifi signal with a Bachelor’s Degree focused on Public Policy boots deep-shizz social reform movements action stuff.
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Biden Rolls To Victory In Nevada With 90% Of The Vote