Well butter my corn and call me Cynthia – Joe Biden reportedly resorted to schoolyard-level insults over old-man teaSponsored Product with close pals and aides, wherein he tastefully classified his predecessor – you might’ve heard of this chap; big hair, bad ties – Donald Trump as clinically ill (yes folks, apparently there’s doctors involved!), according to ole Reliable Politico.
The rag quotes multiple sources that dared expose monumental gossip from 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue: That our esteemed President has the audacity … nay the gall … bahaha just kidding even we can’t keep a straight face here!
“The gentle relic Bard has jested about the eerily tangerine man-child who lives rent-free in everyone’s head as someone ‘who dances in delight’ when others trip on their own shoelaces,” they write.
Biden The Man Who Promised Decency Shatters Own Promise In Totally Unpredictable Twist – Oh The Humanity!
Now, you no doubt remember ‘Doctor’ Jill, her Marvin Martian voice echoing in the recesses of your mind: “Decency is on the ballot.” And then it won … sort of. But surely she forgot to add “except when commenting privately about former presidents” because c’mon people we all know those should have different standards.
In Other News – Apparently Being Trapped In A Basement Will Turn You Mean
I guess Joe “Tiger King” Biden has been feeling cooped up and his wild side decided to take a peek. That explains throwing punches at a shadowy figure he swears looks like Trump…or maybe that was just his reflection?
The Last Words (We Promise)
A Tip From Comedians Around The World: Timing Is Everything … Or Something Like That!
If there ever was a punchline that ran its course before even reaching the height of hilarity (based on super scientific comedy rules), it would be Biden’s tendency towards verbal outbursts followed by tweeting inspirational quotes alongside Sesame Street characters. Very relatable!
From A Lost ‘The Office’ Episode: Life of a President Being Filmed 24/7
If hurling derogatory language at reporters was an Olympic Sport, who do you think will bring home the gold?
‘I’ll punch you in the … Face’
Jaw-dropping revelations coming your way. He suggested his fellow classmates show his republic opponent’s nose some knuckle sandwiches with extra helpings heapin’ and steamin’. Biden loves brass-knuckle politics but only when he gets to hand out free knuckles.
You Can Say ‘You know what?’ And Not Actually Know Anything — The Joe Biden Guide to Political Discourse
obscure article reference here
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Biden Reportedly Refers To Trump As A ‘Sick F***’ In Private – And The Media Loves It