In the year of our Lord 2018, a company emerged from the shadows. This was no ordinary company, oh no! It had been nurtured and fed by none other than the owner of NYSE (New York Stock Exchange for those not in-the-know). The mission? To help Starbucks customers buy coffee with bitcoin.
Now I know what you’re thinking: “Finally! A solution to my crippling inability to purchase overpriced caffeine beverages without resorting to actual money!” Well hold onto your latte art folks because it’s about to get wild!
The idea seems simple enough on paper. You stroll into your local Starbucks, order that venti caramel macchiato with extra foam and instead of handing over your hard-earned cash or swiping a credit card like some sort of Neanderthal, you whip out your phone and pay using Bitcoin.
But let’s take a moment here – imagine this scenario playing out at an average Starbucks during morning rush hour:
Barista: “That’ll be $5 for the tall Pike Place Roast.”
Customer: “I’d like to pay with Bitcoin.”
Barista stares blankly.
Customer fumbles around trying to find their digital wallet app while everyone else in line sighs loudly.
Eventually after much ado about nothing they manage it but then…
Bitcoin value plummets mid transaction!
Suddenly that $5 cup o’ joe costs them more than their monthly mortgage payment.
Ah yes…truly we are living in exciting times!
This is where our brave new company steps up though – backed by the owner of NYSE, they are on a mission to make this Bitcoin-for-coffee dream a reality. And let’s be honest here – if anyone can do it, it’s probably someone who owns an entire stock exchange.
But why stop at Starbucks? Why not use bitcoin for everything! Imagine paying your rent in bitcoin. Or buying groceries with bitcoin. Heck, even tipping your waiter in bitcoins (though you might want to explain what that is first unless you want some very confused and potentially angry waitstaff).
The possibilities are endless…and also slightly terrifying when you consider how volatile cryptocurrency can be.
So there we have it folks – the future of coffee purchasing is upon us! No longer will we need to fumble around with pesky coins or crumpled bills; no more will our credit cards feel the strain of our caffeine addictions!
Instead we’ll just sit back and watch as our digital wallets fluctuate wildly from one minute to the next while trying not to think about how much actual money we’re spending on coffee…
In all seriousness though (or as serious as I can get while discussing using virtual currency for real-world caffeinated beverages), this could actually represent quite a significant step forward in terms of mainstream acceptance and usage of cryptocurrencies like Bitcoin.
If successful, this venture by NYSE-backed company could pave way for other businesses both big and small alike accepting Bitcoin payments which would certainly help increase its legitimacy among general public.
And hey – maybe one day soon instead of asking “Do you take card?” We’ll ask: “Do you accept crypto?”
Until then though…maybe keep hold onto those dollar bills just in case because after all – nothing beats good old-fashioned cash when comes time pay up at end long day filled overpriced lattes macchiatos whatever else people drink these days…
So raise your mugs high fellow java junkies rejoice knowing that someday soon may able buy that venti caramel macchiato with extra foam using nothing but Bitcoin.
And remember – no matter how much the world changes, there will always be two constants: our love for coffee and our ability to make even the simplest of transactions unnecessarily complicated.
Here’s to a future where we can all enjoy overpriced caffeine beverages without having to worry about pesky things like physical currency or stable exchange rates!
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