The Myth of Cool Linen Sheets
Apparently, if you want your mom to stay cool while she sleeps (because let’s be real, this article is just a subtle Mother’s Day advertisement), then you need to buy these magical sheets. Don’t worry about any unpleasant itchiness that usually accompanies linen fabrics – these sheets are impossibly soft and get softer with every wash.
Come on, people. Let’s dissect this propaganda piece one lie at a time.
The Lie About Summer Temperatures
Sure, it gets hot in the summer. But do we really think that swapping out whatever affordable bed sheets we have for ultra-luxurious linen will make all our temperature woes disappear?
Nope. It won’t.
If anything, rich people who can afford $200+ sheet sets should already have air conditioning units installed in their bedrooms. So why even bother touting “coolness” as a selling point?
A Word from Our Sponsors: Your Mom Deserves Luxuries You Can’t Afford!
This entire article reads like a sneaky advertisement disguised as bedding advice- no wonder they name-drop “mom” right off the bat! The not-so-subtle implication being that purchasing expensive things equals love and respect for dear old mother.
If you can’t afford these sheets – don’t worry! Just show your mom another gesture of love and appreciation. Maybe make her breakfast, or help her with gardening. Or just give her some affectionate attention (because let’s face it: most mothers will take cuddles over fancy bed linen any day).
The Lie About Texture
Yes, traditionally linen fabric has been known for its rough texture. But that doesn’t mean all linen is scratchy- in fact there are plenty of softer variations available on the market! So why imply that these linens are particularly unique?
To add insult to injury, CNN tells us that not only are these super-expensive sheets “impossibly soft”, they actually get softer after each wash as well!
Come ONNNN now. You’re telling me a $200 set of bed sheets is going to feel like sleeping on angel hair pasta? No way.
Miraculous Calming Shades?
I’m sorry…what? Calming shades? Are we talking about bedsheets here or an anxiety reduction app?
Bonus Fun Fact:
- Did you know that color psychology behind interior decorating choices is completely bogus?
- FYI-“seafoam green” isn’t inherently more relaxing than neon green. Our brains just associate certain shades with particular feelings based on social conditioning and personal preference.
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The Conclusion We Were Always Going to Reach
At the end of the day, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with buying fancy sheets if you can afford them! But don’t let slick marketing campaigns fool you into thinking that luxurious materials will solve all your problems (physical or emotional).
And if we’re really looking for ways to stay cool during summer nights, how about we try some more practical solutions – like drinking a glass of ice water before bed, keeping the bedroom blinds closed during the hottest parts of the day, or investing in a high-powered fan? Or better yet- enjoy some time outside when its nice out instead of shelling out too much cash!
If These Sheets Are Really So Great then let’s check their SEO Score:
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div class=”seo_stats”>
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ul>
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`<ol start="’5′"><strong>SEO Keywords Used are below-</strong></ol>`
`<ul>`
`<li>'best of the year'</li>`
`<li>“Linens” is repeated 6 times</li>`
`<div data-editable="”description”"><img /></div>`
`</ul>
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</ul>
So, there you have it folks – even though this article might be chock-full of misleading information and shameless ad placement- at least its SEO score isn’t terrible!
Credits:
Articles are curated apologetically from humor website cracked. For details: https://www.cracked.com/pictofacts-1865-bizarrely-specific-things-were-told-to-x-out-of-pictures/